Jessica Seinfelds charitable ensembles: do all of her stylists hate her?

Sometimes, you just want to laugh at someone because you don’t really like them, and because they suck as a person. But when I actually have a good reason to laugh at someone I don’t care for… I will have an indescribable feeling of something close to schadenfreude, but what I think of as “exquisite bitchiness” or “hitting the bitchy G-spot perfectly.” That’s what’s happening in these photos of Jessica Seinfeld in NYC yesterday. Jessica and Jerry did a photo op at the Empire State Building earlier in the day (Jessica in grey), and then last night, they did an event for Jessica’s charity, Baby Buggy (Jessica in that weird purple shade).

I’m not going to discuss the charity, mostly because I’m not that big of a bitch – Baby Buggy provides lots of great stuff to families in need, and you can read more about it here. All I really want to talk about is how awful Jessica looks. That haircut is just… OMG. Do you think Jessica is a complete bitch to her hair stylist? Because the only explanation for this hair is “the person doing her hair f–king hates her.”

Now, let’s talk about the fashion. The grey dress isn’t anything great nor is it terrible. It’s just there. But the purple one which she wore to her big Lincoln Center charity event? OMG. It’s just awful and unflattering and completely wrong. Her fashion stylist must hate her too.

CB and I were also discussing the state of Jessica’s rack. In the purple dress, her boobs look really fake – like the bolt-ons are riding high and stiff. I’m open to the possibility that it’s just a really weird bra, maybe? No, I still think those puppies are fake. When did Jerry buy her new boobs?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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